When in doubt, just say “mmmmm”
By Liz Biggs
What is the first word out of the mouth of babies? “Mmmama,” according to Siri. It’s just so easy to press your lips together and say “mmmmm.” Unlike saying L, which makes you stick out your tongue. Way easier than F, which makes you bite your lip and spit. And way, way easier than X, like in Xavier. No baby ever started their life saying xylophone. But the first time they taste ice cream, you know they say “mmmmmmmmm.” Everyone does, except maybe those who are lactose intolerant. Watch out when a woman quietly whispers “mmmmm” in your ear with a slight growl in her voice. It’s business time.
M is the perfect letter because when someone is speaking and you are bored (or thinking of something else), you can just nod and say “mmmhmmm,” and they think you are engaged in the conversation. Or if someone asks you to do something (that you really don’t want to do), you can say “mmmmkay,” and they will think you will do it (but you know that you won’t). And of course, if you want to be judgy (but not mean) when someone asks your opinion, you can just say “mmmm,” nod your head, and squint your eyes and they will know you don’t approve.
If you watch Netflix with subtitles, you will be amazed at how many times the screenwriters use the phrase “mmm.” (You’re welcome; now you will see it more than you ever wanted to.) Actors use “mmm” to be sexy, or mysterious, or questioning, or just plain observational. Thanks to Netflix, I’ve started using it more, too. It’s so non-confrontational — perfect for these divisive times. Remember when your mama told you, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all?” Staring silently at an idiot while they speak is somewhat offensive these days; it’s better to cock your head with a quizzical look on your face and say “mmmmm.”
Here are many of my favorite M words: magazine (of course!), music, magic, meow, mother, marvelous, miracle, magnificent, majestic, maximum, magnetic, modern, merriment, milkshake, mellow, mystery, magnanimous, madly, meaty, muscular, motivated, mercurial, malarkey, monstrosity, Mary (my Mama’s name but also had a little lamb), matriarch, memorable, mastermind, mythical, meticulous, mercy, monumental, mingle, motley, mouthy, Mobile (my college town), muffuletta, melancholy, meaningful, movie, magenta (my favorite color when I was six and got my first Crayola 64 pack with the built-in sharpener), misadventure, momentous, moonlight, maybe, motoring, mediocre, melon (my favorite fruit), messy, maverick, marshmallow, makeshift, moody, million, meatloaf, manly, mixer, mend, mate, May (my birthday month), magma, mailman (don’t ask), mayhem, macabre, magnitude, Motown (what I was dancing to when I broke my finger), manifest, manners, mindful, middle, memoir, massage, melt, morning-glory, mantra, mod, matriculate, morose, melodrama, melody, mandolin, motif, map, medicine, monkey, Mississippi, money, mundane, mountain, maneuver, modest, mosaic, mirage, malice, meddlesome and more.
Here’s wishing everyone a memorable, marvelous, miraculous, mellow, magical, merry holiday season and a meaningful, motivated, momentous, magnificent New Year! And don’t worry — I only like the letters F and M. All the others are mundane. So I’ll have to think of something more fascinating and meaningful to write about than letters of the alphabet in 2026. No more mediocre malarkey.
